Everything lost is found again

and how I manifested Wildbloom, an evolving creation that embodies all of me and my becoming

There is a tattoo on my back that reads, “everything lost is found again.” I got it when I was 25, as a dedication to my dad and the hope that one day I’d find him again in heaven. Now, almost two decades later, the hope still holds true, but the meaning has deepened with time.

Since my dad’s passing when I was 16, I’ve experienced many great losses: money, careers, businesses, beloved pets, family members, close friends, an unborn child, a big love, a marriage, and a home. Yet, despite years of spiritual healing and personal growth, I never truly learned how to grieve. Every loss was quickly stuffed into a box, along with the pain, sadness, shame, guilt, and anger it carried. Eventually, the box couldn’t hold any more.

By 2022, after losing almost everything at once, it felt like my life was completely shattered. My social club in Venice Beach, the business that finally represented who I was at the core, couldn’t survive Covid. My 10-year relationship with a partner who taught me how to love couldn’t survive our humanity. In the midst of it all, I had managed to also lose myself (again).

After almost a year of hanging on, trying to find refuge in a community that ultimately left me feeling even more defeated, I left America, my home of 22 years, and returned to Vietnam, where it all began. I needed to nurture what felt like my own death, to hide in my mother’s womb. It was there that I discovered I was carrying life inside me. A baby.

I had to live now. Not just survive life, but truly live. I had just turned 40.

Throughout the pregnancy, I disconnected from the world, both physically and digitally, to face what was left of me and the ghosts of everything I had lost. For the first time, I made myself grieve properly, freely and wholeheartedly. I wept, screamed, broke down, picked fights, and resumed therapy. I considered joining a Buddhist temple, becoming a monk. I dreamt of disappearing altogether.

One by one, I opened the box and held each loss tightly. I listened to the pain, the shame, the guilt, the anger. Day after day, I kept going, even when I thought I couldn’t endure it. I had no other choice.

Then I opened other boxes. The box of regrets, the box of squandered hopes and dreams, and countless others. I was like the weaker player in a bloody fight: thrown around, knocked down, punched everywhere, over and over again. Too beat up to know if I had survived. But those are stories for another day.

When my daughter was born, it felt as if I were given another chance at life. It took another year before I could begin to see the light, but slowly, little pieces of me started to return. And I realized I hadn’t lost my dad after all. His memories live in me, and so does he, in my looks, my personality, my strengths, and even my flaws. Best of all, I see him every day in my daughter.

As I find my way back to myself, I keep thinking about that tattoo: everything lost is found again. And that’s how the idea of Wildbloom was born, out of loss, grief, and a longing to rediscover, reconnect, and rebuild. It is a celebration of what I have lost and found again, a hopeful reconnection to the parts of myself I once held closest. The parts that are creative, fun, daring, playful, adventurous, bold and beautiful. Above all, it’s a reconnection to love.

A week ago, back in America, St Louis of all places, we were invited to a new friend’s house for dinner, and I saw it. There, in her living room, was this coffee table, from the same collection as the dining table at my former social club. That table had been the heart of my business and the piece I was most heartbroken to let go. In that moment, I realized this, too, had never been lost. It was right here, waiting for me to rediscover and reshape into something even more authentically me.

So what’s the secret to finding what’s lost? I think it’s grieving deeply, then letting go. And once you’ve found it again, cherish it. Be true to it. Be proud of it. Love it with all your heart. Then let it go again.

But what exactly is Wildbloom?

To be honest, I am still figuring it out. What I do know for certain is that it reflects everything I hold dear: the beauty I seek, the spaces I long to create, the people I want to bring together, and the lifestyle I hope to pass down to my baby.

It is not simply a business or project but how I connect with the world and contribute to its beauty. Rooted in love, truth, and intuition, Wildbloom inspires me to serve without conforming to others’ expectations or striving to meet every need. It is a space where I am free to curate and create as my true self, while inviting others to do the same. It’s where I hope we can gather to connect over vulnerable stories of love, loss, and redemption (and maybe even laugh at our own clichés). Stories that inspire us to rediscover our wild and bloom into our truest selves.

On the first day of 2025, I wrote down five values I wish to carry with me throughout the year: truth, love, beauty, calm, and wonder. Among them, wonder was the hardest one to grasp. In honor of it, I want to let Wildbloom unfold in its own time. I want to see where it leads me. For the first time in my life, I’m stepping aside and letting wonder guide the way. My role is to listen to my intuition, take actions that feel right, and continue creating from a place of truth, beauty, calm, and love.

To start, Wildbloom will be a platform for me to share what I love most and the little treasures I’ve spent years curating and cherishing: flowers from a sweet local farm, healthful food made from scratch, clothes from my own closet (and a few from my daughter’s), along with things I collect while traveling, visiting flea markets, and meeting artisans who pour their heart into their craft. Along the way, I hope to bring people together, especially mothers and their little ones. I want to build a village for myself and my baby; a village of like-minded souls with hearts full of love.

It’s simple like that. No grand vision. No strategy. No agenda. The ex-CPA in me thinks I’m crazy, but every other part of me knows this is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to join me on this path, to follow along, and to help cultivate something beautiful together. Maybe you’ll find your own journey of rediscovery, a reminder to live your truth, and to stand by the values that matter most to you.

As Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “Our own life has to be our message.” Wildbloom is my message, a commitment to live my wild, believe in the magic of wonder and keep letting go. Because wildflowers cannot be held on to. They never stay the same, always transforming, and most importantly, they keep blooming again and again.

What is the message of your life?

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In 2023, after becoming pregnant with my daughter. I decided to wipe my Instagram clean and stepped away from the world. Now, as my daughter turns one, I feel ready to reengage. Follow me on Instagram as I rebuild my feed and my life.

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